You’re wrong
The Hidden Cost of Being Right
What if your certainty is the very thing holding you back?
We all love the feeling of being right. It’s validating. It gives us a sense of control. It feels good—literally. Neuroscience tells us that being right releases dopamine, the same neurotransmitter that reinforces addictive behaviors. Wait, does that mean I'm addicted to being right? It’s no wonder we defend our opinions so fiercely, even when new information suggests we might be missing something.
But what if our addiction to being right is costing us more than we realize? What if clinging to our beliefs is limiting our relationships, our creativity, and our ability to grow?
Consider the story of Dr. Ignaz Semmelweis. In the mid-1800s, Semmelweis discovered that doctors were unknowingly spreading deadly infections by not washing their hands. He found that a simple act—handwashing—could drastically reduce mortality rates. But instead of embracing his findings, the medical community rejected him. His colleagues, deeply entrenched in their existing beliefs, refused to consider that they might be wrong. Semmelweis was ridiculed, dismissed, and ultimately institutionalized, despite the overwhelming evidence supporting his discovery. It took decades before germ theory validated his work.
This story isn’t just about medicine—it’s about human nature. We resist being wrong because it threatens our sense of self. But in doing so, we shut the door to growth and progress.
The most effective thinkers, leaders, and innovators aren’t the ones who are always right. They’re the ones who are willing to be wrong—or more accurately, willing to hold their beliefs loosely, test them, and adapt when necessary.
Why We Struggle to See Beyond Our Own Perspective
Our brains are wired to seek certainty. Predictability feels safe, while uncertainty feels like a threat. This is why cognitive biases like confirmation bias (our tendency to seek information that supports what we already believe) and cognitive dissonance (the discomfort of holding conflicting beliefs) make it so hard to change our minds.
It’s not just a mental habit—it’s biological. The brain rewards certainty with a flood of feel-good chemicals, reinforcing our belief systems like a well-worn groove in a record. Over time, we become less open to new information, less curious, and more rigid in our thinking. And when our beliefs become part of our identity, questioning them can feel like an attack on who we are.
But what if there’s a better way?
Zoom out for a moment and consider this: Scientists estimate that we understand only about 5% of the known universe. That means 95% of reality is still a mystery—dark matter, dark energy, and countless unknowns waiting to be discovered. If there’s that much we don’t know about the fabric of existence itself, how much might we be missing in our own perspectives, ideas, and beliefs?
Zoom out even further for a moment and ask yourself: what makes up the unknown universe? What hidden forces, principles, or possibilities might be operating just beyond our perception? How much might we be missing in our understanding of truth, human nature, and the way the world works?
If we accept that there is infinitely more to learn, could we give ourselves permission to relinquish our addiction to being right? What if, instead of serving our ego, we became explorers of possibility—curious, open, and willing to see beyond our current understanding?
What If You Could See More?
Instead of needing to be right, what if you became someone who sees more? What if, instead of treating beliefs as fixed truths, you viewed them as working theories—guiding principles that can be tested, refined, and even discarded when better information emerges?
This is what sets great thinkers apart. The best minds in history—from Galileo to Darwin to modern innovators—weren’t just smart; they were pliable. They held strong ideas, but they were willing to adapt when new evidence surfaced.
Take Pixar, for example. Ed Catmull, one of its co-founders, built a culture where mistakes weren’t just tolerated, they were essential. The team didn’t cling to ideas that weren’t working—they tested, iterated, and improved. As Catmull put it, "To be wrong as fast as you can is to sign up for aggressive, rapid learning." That willingness to be wrong led to some of the most groundbreaking films in animation history.
How to Build Intellectual Flexibility
Being open to being wrong isn’t about abandoning all beliefs; it’s about maintaining cognitive flexibility. Neuroplasticity, the brain’s remarkable ability to rewire itself, demonstrates that with consistent practice, we can actually reshape our thought processes. Those deeply ingrained beliefs that have held us back can be overwritten. Through deliberate practice and a curious mindset, we can create new thought patterns—new ways of thinking—by challenging our own unwavering certainty.
Here’s how:
Catch yourself in certainty. When you feel completely sure about something, ask: What might I be missing?
Invite perspectives that challenge you. Seek out conversations with people who think differently and listen with curiosity.
Practice saying “I could be wrong, but…” Normalize testing your own ideas in real time.
Reframe mistakes as updates, not failures. Every time you adjust your thinking, you get closer to truth.
Recognize that seeing more requires others. The best thinkers aren’t lone geniuses—they engage with a network of diverse perspectives.
Explorer of Possibility
When we loosen our grip on the need to be right, we open ourselves up to breakthroughs in our relationships, our work, and in our personal growth.
So ask yourself: are you ready to be an explorer of possibility?
Pick one way to challenge your own certainty this week. Whether it’s reading a perspective you disagree with, reconsidering an assumption, or simply admitting “I don’t know” more often—see what happens when you let go of the need to be right.
Because the moment you stop needing to be right all the time… you might just start seeing more than you ever imagined.
