Just words
Aron was alone. Trapped. His arm crushed beneath an immovable boulder. Five days had passed. No food. Barely any water. No way to call for help. And one terrifying realization—no one was coming.
What do you think was going through his mind in that moment? Panic? Surrender?
Words shape our reality. Not just in moments of crisis, but in the smallest, mundane everyday ways. The things we casually say—like "I’m just a..." or "That’s just the way I am"—slowly cement our beliefs about what’s possible. Often, we don’t even realize the limits we’re placing on ourselves with the language we use every day. The language we use—both internally and externally—determines what we believe is possible, what we strive for, and what we ultimately achieve.
How Humans Create Meaning
At its core, meaning-making is our brain's way of interpreting the world. We don’t just react to reality—we construct it through language, stories, and associations. This process is shaped by:
Pattern Recognition: Our brains are wired to find patterns, even where none exist. This helps us make sense of randomness but can also lead to cognitive biases.
Narrative Coherence: We organize experiences into stories to make them more understandable. Stories help us connect past, present, and future into a meaningful whole.
Social Construction: Much of our meaning comes from social interaction. We adopt language, beliefs, and values from the culture around us.
The Role of Language in Shaping Thought
Language is more than just a way to describe reality—it actively shapes it. This is the foundation of linguistic relativity (also known as the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis), which suggests that the structure of language influences how we perceive and think about the world.
Some languages have no past or future tense, which changes how speakers think about time.
Words for colors affect how people categorize and even see colors.
Cultures with different words for emotions experience and express emotions differently.
Cognitive Science of Meaning
From a neuroscience perspective, meaning-making happens in a few key ways:
Predictive Processing: The brain constantly predicts what will happen next, and meaning emerges when reality aligns (or clashes) with those expectations.
Embodied Cognition: Meaning is not just abstract—it’s grounded in physical experience. Words like "grasp" (which refers to both physical holding and understanding) show how deeply our thinking is tied to bodily experience.
Memory & Identity: Meaning is linked to how we remember experiences. Our past stories shape our sense of self, which in turn affects how we interpret new events.
How Meaning Shapes the Future
The words and stories we use don’t just describe our world—they shape what’s possible. Research in Conversational Intelligence (Judith Glaser’s work) shows that words trigger biochemical responses that either open us up to possibility or shut us down in fear.
When we use expansive, future-oriented language, we set the stage for innovation and transformation.
Limiting language (“I’m just not good at this”) reinforces mental constraints.
Leaders who use empowering language can shift group mindsets, altering collective outcomes.
This is Impossible
So, whatever happened to the guy trapped in the canyon?
As the days passed, his body weakened. His mind wavered between hope and despair. This is impossible. I can’t survive this.
What do you tell yourself when all options seem gone? Do you resign? Or do you reframe the situation?
Much like the small phrases we use in daily life that shape our reality, the words running through his mind carried weight.
The Words That Trap Us
One way to become aware of these patterns is through metacognition—actively listening to our own words and questioning their impact. Journaling, voice recordings, or even a simple mental check-in can help identify limiting patterns.
A key approach is reframing—catching those words in real-time and swapping them for language that expands possibility.
Most of the time, we don’t even notice the limiting words we use. They’re subtle, everyday phrases that feel harmless but shape our reality in powerful ways. Consider these:
“I’m just a beginner.” → Reinforces limitation. Try: “I’m in the early stages of learning.”
“I have to.” → Implies obligation, not choice. Try: “I get to.”
“It’s hard.” → Focuses on difficulty, not growth. Try: “It’s new.”
“I don’t know how.” → Shuts down curiosity. Try: “How can I learn this?”
“I always mess this up.” → Locks you into a fixed identity. Try: “I’m still improving at this.”
“That’s just the way I am.” → Stops growth and change. Try: “I’m working on changing that.”
“I’m bad at this.” → Labels ability as permanent. Try: “I haven’t mastered this yet.”
“I’ll try.” → Leaves room for doubt. Try: “I will.”
“This is just who I am.” → Limits transformation. Try: “I’m evolving.”
I invite you to do a word audit today. Pay attention to how you describe your challenges, your opportunities, and even yourself. What words do you use that might be keeping you small? What shifts could you make?
What if I Could?
Aron Ralston’s story is famous because of what he did next: He amputated his own arm to survive. But before he ever picked up the knife, he changed his language. He stopped saying “I can’t.” He stopped saying “I’m going to die here.”Instead, he asked, “What if I could?” That shift in language changed everything. With a newfound sense of determination, he made the seemingly impossible decision—one that would cost him dearly but ultimately save his life.
His story is extreme, but the principle isn’t. Every day, we face moments—small and large—where our language dictates our future. The words we use determine whether we stay stuck or move forward.
Your Challenge
Over the next 24 hours, listen to your own words. Catch the subtle ways you limit yourself. Replace them with words that expand possibility. If a man can change his language to survive, what could you do if you changed yours to thrive?
