What are we capable of?
If we're really honest with ourselves, for a lot of us, we often find ourselves operating from a place of fear—fear of pain, fear of failure, fear of losing control. This is subtle and often times very subconscious, but it affects most of the decisions we make.
But what if we changed the questions we asked ourselves, and those questions had the power to shape our future?
Four Levels of Conscious Thinking
How Do I Stop the Pain? - Survival mode, driven by fear and urgency.
How Do I Feel Good Now? - Seeking comfort and short-term gratification.
What Am I Capable Of? - Stepping into possibility and self-expansion.
What Are We Capable Of? - Collaboration, innovation, and collective transformation.
Psychology Behind the Framework
This is a practice—recognizing where you are takes repetition. Our brains are wired for storytelling, creating narratives that shape our perception of reality. Neuroscience tells us that much of our decision-making happens subconsciously, processing information up to 200,000 times faster than our conscious thought. The subconscious mind drives around 95% of our daily decisions, prioritizing efficiency, energy conservation, and survival. This means our brains default to familiar thought patterns and habits, even when they no longer serve us. Without intentional effort, these automatic responses can keep us stuck in lower levels of thinking. It takes conscious awareness and deliberate practice to override these ingrained patterns, activate the prefrontal cortex—where creativity, problem-solving, and long-term vision live—and level up our mindset.
Unraveling the Stories We Tell Ourselves
Our brains are wired to create stories that explain our experiences, but these narratives aren’t always true. Often, they’re shaped by past fears, limiting beliefs, and outdated assumptions. Challenging these stories is essential for growth.
Using novel questions allows us to experiment with new perspectives. When we ask ourselves different questions, we can uncover hidden assumptions, test alternative beliefs, and even rewrite the narratives that no longer serve us.
When Stories Are Stuck
Some stories feel immovable—a lifetime of resistance has allowed them to persist. These deep-seated beliefs, often reinforced by shame and judgment, can keep us stuck in cycles of self-doubt and hesitation.
A critical part of this process is releasing shame and judgment. If we judge ourselves for where we are, we stay stuck. Growth requires self-compassion. As you practice shifting through these levels, you’ll keep discovering new areas of life where old beliefs need to evolve.
Community is Essential
Doing this work alone is difficult. As Jon Levy explores in You Are Invited, the environments and communities we engage with shape our beliefs and opportunities. Likewise, Malcolm Gladwell, in Revenge of the Tipping Point, highlights how small variations in social circles can lead to vastly different outcomes. Surrounding yourself with a community that challenges and supports you is one of the most effective ways to elevate your thinking and truly level up.
1. How Do I Stop the Pain?
What it sounds like:
How do I make this go away?
How do I fix this as fast as possible?
How do I survive this moment?
This is survival mode. When we’re here, we’re reacting, not creating. We’re moving from scarcity, fear, and the need for immediate relief. Sometimes, this is necessary. Pain is real. But living here permanently keeps us small.
How to recognize it:
You feel like you’re always in damage control mode.
You’re making decisions based on worst-case scenarios.
Your energy is tight, anxious, and defensive.
How to shift:
Pause. Breathe. Name the fears.
Instead of "How do I stop the pain?" ask, "What is this pain telling me?"
Focus on one small action that creates movement, not just relief.
2. How Do I Feel Good Now?
What it sounds like:
I just need a break.
I just want to feel better.
I’ll deal with that later.
This level is about short-term gratification. It’s where distractions, avoidance, and numbing behaviors live. It’s scrolling instead of starting. It’s watching another episode instead of having a hard conversation. It’s staying comfortable instead of growing.
How to recognize it:
You default to distractions when facing discomfort.
You choose comfort over necessary action.
You feel temporarily better, but nothing really changes.
How to shift:
Ask, "Is this choice moving me forward or just keeping me comfortable?"
Set a 5-minute timer to start the thing you’re avoiding.
Delay gratification for 10 minutes and see if the urge fades.
3. What Am I Capable Of?
What it sounds like:
What if I actually tried?
How far could I go if I committed to this?
What’s possible for me?
This is the shift from passive to active. From reacting to creating. This is where real growth happens. But it requires moving through fear, self-doubt, and the temptation to stay comfortable.
How to recognize it:
You start to feel excited about possibility (but also a little scared).
You recognize self-sabotaging behaviors and challenge them.
You feel the pull to create, build, or push yourself.
How to shift:
Set a goal that excites and scares you.
Identify one belief that’s holding you back and challenge it.
Surround yourself with people who think bigger than you.
Powerful Questions for Expansion
These questions, inspired by poet David Whyte, can help challenge limiting beliefs and open new pathways for growth:
What helped you get here that you need to give away?
Who are you when you are the best to yourself and the world around you?
What promise did I make sincerely that I now need to let go of?
What would it be like to have absolute faith in your intuitions?
4. What Are We Capable Of?
What it sounds like:
Who can I collaborate with?
What could we build together?
What’s possible beyond just me?
This is where transformation happens. It’s the shift from individual achievement to collective potential. But there’s a block here: identity. People fear losing ownership, recognition, or control. But the truth is, real breakthroughs happen when we expand beyond ourselves.
We get stuck when we try to hold on—to control, to certainty, to personal achievement. But we unlock something bigger when we move from protecting to expanding. When we stop asking, "What am I capable of?" and start asking, "What are we capable of?" we step into a level of possibility we couldn’t reach alone.
How to recognize it:
You feel resistance to sharing ideas or working with others.
You fear losing credit or control over outcomes.
You want to create something bigger but feel uncertain about how.
How to shift:
Reframe: My value isn’t in control, it’s in contribution.
Seek out a community of big thinkers and engage with them.
Ask, "What’s possible here that I can’t see alone?"
Powerful Questions for Expansion
Here are additional powerful questions to help you shift into a mindset of collaboration, creativity, and shared possibility:
What vision am I holding onto alone that could become greater with others?
How can I create space for perspectives that challenge my own?
What would it look like to lead with curiosity rather than certainty?
Where am I resisting collaboration because of fear of losing control?
The Path to Expansion
This journey isn’t about reaching a final destination—it’s about continuously leveling up the questions we ask ourselves. As you move through these stages, you’ll find new challenges, new breakthroughs, and new opportunities to expand beyond your current limits.
Growth doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens in conversation, in collaboration, and in community. Finding people who challenge, inspire, and push you to think bigger is one of the most powerful things you can do.
So, what are we capable of?
